Plastic and a Rodent
by C.G. Irvin
Summary: Odd noises are coming up from down the stairs in Engineering on the Normandy, and it's up to everyone's favorite Quarian to find out the cause!


"Son of a..."

Clangs, grunts, the screeching of shifting metal, and curses in multiple dialects echoed around the tight corridors of the Normandy. They went back and forth, up and down, and could be heard on every deck. But what was it? The Normandy was currently in a rather long line of ships waiting to leave the newly reacquired Quarian homesystem, and with the Quarians and the Geth now getting along thick as thieves (possibly an inappropriate metaphor considering the prejudices against the Quarian people) there really wasn't any cause for the kind of hasty activity that normally would be the reason behind these violent noises.

So what was it?

Currently, the noises were coming from Deck 4, Engineering. The clangs of shifting metal crates and scattering tools reverberated along the cool steel bulkheads of the ship, into the ears of one Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. She paused in her work, canting her head to one side as she listened for the sounds again...there!

"When I find who did this I'm going to...ugh!"

That voice...

Her head shot up straight, and she set off running down to the second level of Engineering, only to be greeted with a sight that was both amusing and confusing - and maybe a little concerning. Commander Nathaniel J. Shepard, Hero of the Citadel, Destroyer of the Collectors, First Human Spectre, etc etc, was surrounded by over-turned boxes, his usually tidy uniform wrinkled and covered in grease-stains, his exposed face and forearms likewise smudged with oil, and had frozen in the process of flipping over the metal cot when Tali had appeared around the corner, his glacier-blue eyes reminscent of a deer caught in a motor-vehicle's headlights, and he let the cot fall to the ground uncermoniously after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Oh, uh, hey Tali," he coughed, rubbing his hands on the thighs of his uniform pants as though to clean them - dirtying the pants in the process. "I, uh, was...uh..."

Tali could scarcely believe her luck. Shepard, normally so cool, reserved, and in control, was down here, in _her_ domain, looking more disorganized than a Batarian drive-core, and he was _clearly _up to something. This was not an opportunity the Quarian woman was going to let pass her by. It would be nice to be the one doing the teasing for a change.  
>"You were...?" she asked, leaving the question hanging in the air as she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.<p>

"I was...I was..._shit_...," the Commander replied, before he pinched the bridge of his nose and met her gaze, having the good grace to look abashed as he finished his sentence in a mumble.

"I'm sorry?" Tali said, amusement coloring her exotically-accented voice. "I couldn't hear you. Awfully loud down here."  
>"I said I was...looking for my models," Shepard responded.<p>

You could have heard a hamster twitch, it was so quiet - which, incidentally, one did, before it scampered out from beheath the cot Shepard had lifted and scurried between Tali'zorah's legs, before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.

"And that stupid hamster!" Shepard added, gesturing to it with an open palm. "When I find who scattered my models around the ship and let Boo loose I'm going to...be very upset!"

Tali was now shaking with silent laughter, though it didn't remain silent for a long as a giggle forced its way out of her lips. "Do you mean to tell me that Commander Nathaniel Shepard, the Lion of Elysium, has been tearing this ship to pieces looking for a _rodent_and a few plastic models?"

Shepard paused for a moment, eyes slightly glazing over as he thought about what she said, before he nodded once. "That's exactly what I mean to tell you."  
>"Oh, just wait until Garrus hears about <em>this<em>," Tali replied, turning to leave, but Shepard had bolted to catch up with her, and a strong hand wrapped around her arm to prevent her from doing so.  
>"No Tali, wait! I'll never hear the end of it - he's already practically shouting about how he beat me in a sniping competition because I purposefully missed a - "<br>"Suuure you did, Shepard."  
>" - <em>purposefully missed a shot<em>. This would just be the final nail in the coffin, the straw that broke the camel's back, the icing on the cake. Please, please don't tell him about this."  
>"...what's a camel?"<br>"Don't worry about it. But look, c'mon Tali, you have to promise me..."

Tali cut him off with a soft hand on his shoulder and a gentle laugh. "Now who worries too much, Nathan? I was only teasing. It's nice to not be on the receiving end every once in a while."  
>"Teasing?" Shepard asked, before his eyes narrowed. "I'll show you teasing! Take <em>this<em>!" Shepard shouted as he wrapped his arms around Tali's waist, which caused her to squeal loudly in protest before his hands began to tickle her sides.  
>"No, Shepard, n-no! Stop! Please!" Tali got out inbetween laughs, and Shepard laughed along with her as he slowly abated. Their short-lived, one-sided tickle fight had moved them so that Shepard was sitting leaning against the wall with his legs splayed, with Tali inbetween them with her back against his chest, and for a moment all was quiet in Engineering save for the soft hum of the Drive Core. Tali let her head rest back against Shepard's shoulder, and she couldn't help the contented smile that came across her face beneath the purple visor of her mask. This moment was perfect...<p>

Until Boo dropped from above them directly onto Nathaniel's head, causing him to sputter and curse, and he would have gotten up to go chasing after the furry mongrel were it not for the staying hand that Tali had lain upon one of the arms wrapped around her middle.  
>"You're not going to be able to catch it just by chasing it like a Varren, Shepard. Just be patient."<br>"But Tali, it's right there!"  
>"And I'm right here," she replied coquettishly, before she wriggled into a slightly more comfortable position and laid her head back against his shoulder.<p>

Shepard was quiet for a moment as he looked down at the Quarian girl in his arms, and after a moment's contemplation he pressed his lips to the top of her head in a chaste kiss, letting a soft laugh escape his lips. Suddenly, the models and the hamster didn't quite matter so much anymore.

"Yeah. You are."

A/N: Thanks for reading, guys! Just a quick something I wrote that came to me as I was searching for my lost hamster on the Normandy in ME3, and I just had to get it out. I apologize for the weird spacing in parts, Wordpad can be really dumb sometimes, but it's all I've got. Hope you enjoyed it! - C.G.I.


End file.
